Mission Control

"Houston, we have a problem"....well, ok. I don't need to contact Houston. I need to contact Mission Control!! But really THAT is the problem! I WANT TO BE IN CONTROL. Me. The one who once said that she didn't like cruise control while driving because I don't feel like I'm in control!!! I've also been know to be a "if you want it done right, do it yourself" person!! Today in church, our Associate Pastor, Pastor Ryan, spoke about Daniel. Good message. The point that hit home for me was SOVEREIGNTY. Who is in control???? GOD OF COURSE! I'm not very good at that. Sad, but true. I'm GREAT at giving my troubles, my entire life, really, over to God. But then I take it back. Brilliant huh? Like I can do a better job than God? We all have our moments....some of us, more than others. Oh, how I wish I could say I have mastered the art of "letting go", but alas, it would be a lie. Just ask my kids! My children are grown. The oldest two have moved out on their own. My daughter is a married woman! But I still want to be involved. I'm NOT one of those mothers that interrupts the lives of my children and demands involvement. But I do ask questions. My daughter is usually ok with this. My eldest son, not so much. I am learning! I have learned that my children can teach me things...that I sometimes make a better student than a teacher. God gave these children to me. Perhaps He gave me these blessings I call my children, to teach me about SOVEREIGNTY. At least today, that is how I choose to look at it. Mission accomplished! My God is sovereign. He is in control! What a load off my mind!! Why can't I keep this knowledge in the forefront of my life on a daily basis? Because God isn't finished with me yet. I'm still a student. Always learning. I encourage you to be a never-ending student. Call on Mission Control....God. My blessings are many, even when I struggle to find two dimes to rub together. I try to share those blessings as much as I can. Today I was blessed with the message I received at church. Who knows what tomorrow brings....what will I write about? God knows! He is in control.....I'm praying I remember that tomorrow!!! Blessings to you all! ~Sooz

In the beginning

The beginning....what a great place to start! It is (well, technically) the beginning of a new year. Yes, I know the first month of 2012 is almost over, but at least I'm not trying to say this in August or November! The great thing about "beginnings", in general, is that you can have a beginning ANYTIME! It's all in the way you choose to look at things. Let's use divorce as an example. OK, it may not be the BEST example, but it IS one example I am familiar with. Divorce is usually associated with the END of something; a commitment. A period of being in a union with a person you have loved enough to believe in as your life partner. But now, that is ended. Soooo life is over? No way!!! This is a beginning. A new chance. A new start. Of course you may grieve the loss of your marriage. That's expected. You truly do mourn the loss. But AS YOU ALLOW IT, your heart does heal. I'm reading a terrific book right now. "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Volskamp. I know many of you read this when it first came out. I truly believe God placed it in my lap at just the right time! The first few chapters have opened my eyes in a way I can't readily describe. One idea that really struck me was in the second chapter that speaks on emptiness. I have been divorced, for the second time, for almost eight years now. I guess I have been walking through life with a "wanting" attitude. Not that I wanted or needed a husband to make me feel whole. I don't know that I can describe it as well as Mrs. Volskamp does...she speaks of going through life with "holes in our souls". For most of us, that represents an "emptiness",or a "longing" or "wanting" feeling. But she chose to look at those "holes" as a way to see more of God and less of herself! At least this is MY interpretation of the meaning so far. If there is a fence so tall and so wide that we cannot see over it and we can't see around it, but there is a hole in the fence and we can see THROUGH it, we will look through that hole....if we can see through SEVERAL holes, we will see MORE! Some people question why God...a LOVING GOD can allow horrible, heart-breaking, life-altering events to happen...especially to GOOD people. I can't pretend to understand God's reasoning for pain. But for today, and.hopefully many days to come, I WILL CHOOSE TO LOOK THROUGH THE 'SOUL HOLES' OF MY LIFE AS MORE WAYS TO LOOK FOR GOD! This is my new space to relay random thoughts from my heart. I hope to find a peace about sharing with you. I am thankful for an outlet to express myself....I've always loved to write. I believe God is owning new doors for me all if the time!!! Somedays ate better than others...bit for this moment, this breath, I am choosing to be at peace. God's blessings to you!!! Who knows what the day will bring.....I may post more later!!! Sooz~